innkeeper spam

I'm offered $90 off a skydiving adventure on my Groupon email today.  The accompanying picture of an excitement addled woman throwing a double thumbs up as she hurtles to the ground made me so woozy I had to close my eyes and fumble around  blindly for the delete button.   But it made me wonder, are my guests left wanting in the adventure stakes?  Should I offer them something rather more exciting than a good night's sleep and a breakfast served by my charming self?  I suppose I could let them jump off the roof into the compost heap if they wanted to.  No skin off my nose.  They could wade in the pond and see if Moby Leech shows up.  I've seen him. Trust me,  he's exciting.   Or they could swim with the beavers.   My last guest had an exciting shower I'm thinking, because I forgot to turn the hot water back on after the plumber had been here.  Poor man didn't say anything but he was a funny shade of blue when he left.  Our water is from a  well 200 feet down in the icy depths of Maine. 

Also received this in today's batch of emails:
Hello am  Sam and I would like to order for individual chicken salad in your restaurant for 150 people on the 13th April and pick up time is 4pm and it's for my Son Birthday Party and and if you don't serve the above food email me your menu .

The food will be picked up by my courier agent and I am ready to pay the full payment with my credit card so get to me with the following information below......

Restaurant Address:

Total cost for the food:

Personal cell #:

Mostly I get spam having to do with reserving 6 double rooms for honeymoon couples wishing to stay 3 weeks.  This is the first time I've been asked about chicken salad.   I'd be fascinated to meet the innkeeper who believes that 6 couples are honeymooning together.  Or who agrees  to provide a courier with 150 chicken salads.   Or who thinks one lousey redwing blackbird means spring.  Did I mention that it's snowing?

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