The best way to cope with a Maine winter is to go to Florida. If you can't do that then get a good hat. My favorite one is a really nasty bright green with things embroidered on it in red and blue and a big green bobble on the top. Its label says it is made from Turtle Fur. That's why I bought it. A little more wit and a little less truth would go a long way to making life better, in my view. Then you need YakTrax on your shoes. These are rubber strappy things with spikes for gripping the ice. These are what I didn't have on yesterday when I hit a mean patch on the driveway and landed on my head. I lay there for a while thinking about life in general and wondering if mine was over and then noticed some birds flying overhead. Ok, I thought. I can see. I wonder if I can move. Somehow it seemed too much trouble to check so I just laid there for a little while longer. I shouted "Help" but it wasn't a very loud shout because there wasn't anyone around to hear me but it did prove that I could speak. Ok. I can hear and I can speak. Things are looking up. I turned my head back and forth. Neck not broken. Excellent. Nonetheless I am now faced with achieving an upright status from a prone position on an icy hill. There is not much passing traffic on Friendship Road in the middle of winter but I found myself concerned that someone would drive by just as I flopped about trying to get up. What would they think? What if a guest drove in? What if I were caught on satellite and beamed out on Google Earth for the entire planet to see? I casually rolled to the side of the drive, off the ice and into the snow and under the cover of a shrub managed to get onto my hands and knees and thence to my feet.
I saw a nature program on tv that said that not 10 miles outside of Miami there are snakes the size of school buses.